Clubs Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of dum blond jokes when a big blond woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blond pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"
You have a nickname like Pinto, Bunty, Bunny, Dolly, or Penny. Your last name is longer than ten letters, i. e. Chandraprakash or Subramanian. You get high off butter chicken and/or mango frooti. Your gang's name is the Fob Squad or Fobby By Nature. Your gang's uniform is a Michael Jackson T-shirt with Rambo pants. Your top pick-up line is "Just have your mummy call my mummy baby, it isbeing all good." You use a whole bottle of hair gel whenever you leave the house. At clubs, you're overheard saying, "So what if my mummy picks out myclothes, you know this gear is fly baby!" (for guys) You wear tight-ass jeans. (for girls) You have to jack up your pants to get them tight. (for girls) You have a mustache. (for guys and girls) You are a pencil-bearded Malu. Your the captain and sole member of your school's cricket team. You play the sitar and/or tabla three hours everyday. You go to Rutgers University or the University of Maryland at CollegePark. You wear a turban, more...
Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open
When a French Lady Representative managed to close all the brothels in France after the war, they promptly opened up again as private clubs. Shortly afterward an elderly gentleman, unaware of the change, knocked at the door of one of the "clubs." Having been instructed to maintain the impression that he was working for a private club, the doorman first asked: "Active member?" "I hope so," the old man replied.
A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week`s stay, the Texan said, "Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I`ll get it for you.""Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine." With that the physician left.The doctor didn`t hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire."Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn`t have swimming pools, and I didn`t think they were good enough for ya. So I had pools installed and they`re all ready for you now!"
A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week's stay, the Texan said, "Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I'll get it for you.""Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine." With that the physician left.The doctor didn't hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire."Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn't have swimming pools, and I didn't think they were good enough for ya. So I had pools installed and they're all ready for you now!"
...2 medical marijuana clubs in Oakland, CA were broken into and robbed of their inventory. Police have no suspects. Operators of the clubs believe the robberies are connected and are launching a joint investigation.