Oil Jokes

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

* The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

* Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

* The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

* Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

* British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

* Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

* When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

Some tar balls have appeared on shore from the Gulf oil spill. The Gulf will reportedly begin wearing jockey shorts.

There was a businesswoman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined. The Sheik insisted so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice. A few weeks later she received a telegram from the sheik. “So far I have bought you 3 golf clubs. I hope you aren't disappointed that only 2 of them have swimming pools."

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock? If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless or naked? If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? If I save time, when do I get it back? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? If swimming is good for your shape, more...