Choice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Read the following statements and the amazing
conclusion:
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is
Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level
employees is Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers
is Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is
Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management
is Tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers
is Golf.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best
wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low
stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter
solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions
of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for
the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally
accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the
Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars
of choice of other cultures).
The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).
Now more...

Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner. One friend said,'It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion?
The friend replied,'Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with a money!'

Men should ace this test. .. women may have a little difficulty. There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed. =============================================== The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use." (Sample): | | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.) ------------------------- You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck! -------------------- Easy Section -------------------- 1.) | | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this. =============================================== 2.) | x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | more...

POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemispheresummer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of thereligious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, andwithout regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform andoperating system of the wishee. By accepting more...

Um, well...
Three prisoners attempt an escape from Alcatraz, but are caught
and must be punished.
Prison Guard: "OK, the governor has prescribed punishment of three
lashes each, but you may have on your back the covering
of your choice. Jenkins, you first. What ya want on
your back?"
Jenkins: "Oil."
PG: "OK, then. Slop it on. Good. Now... ONE!"
Jenkins: " AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!"
PG: "TWO!"
Jenkins: "Oh GOD! MERCY! MERCY!"
PG: "THREE!"
Jenkins: "AAAARRRghhhhh (faints)"
PG: "Next, you Baxter, what do you want on your back?"
Baxter (extra tough macho type of guy): "Nothing."
PG: "Have it your way... ONE!"
Baxter: "Didn't feel it."
PG: "TWO!"
Baxter: "Ha, ha, ha!"
PG: "THREE!"
Baxter: "No sweat."
PG: "Finally you, Goldstein. What you want more...