Cd-rom Jokes / Recent Jokes
The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, "My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem."
"High-speed modem?" questions the judge.
"Yes" replies the lawyer, "It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows email and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor."
"Cybersex?" says the judge, "You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature!"
"Secondly, my lord," continues the lawyer, "My client can produce a receipt for the 12-speed cd-rom."
"12-speed cd-rom?" queries the judge.
"Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk."
"And I suppose most of this *information* is more...
The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, "My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem."
"High-speed modem?" questions the judge.
"Yes," replies the lawyer. "It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows e-mail and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor."
"Cybersex?" asks the judge. "You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature."
"Secondly, my lord," continues the lawyer, "My client can produce a receipt for the 42-speed cd-rom."
"42x-speed CD-Rom?" queries the judge.
"Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk."
"And I suppose most of this information is more...
Solitaire `99
Here is the README. TXT file from Microsoft`s latest software product.
Microsoft Solitaire `98
README file, v4. 3
Welcome!
Congratulations!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire `98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!"
For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.*
Solitaire `98 brings this dream to a blissful reality.
System Requirements:
- 266 MHz Pentium II more...
This IT support pilot fish gets a trouble ticket for a user's CD-ROM drive that isn't working correctly.
But it's been a long week with too many dumb users, and fish is more than a little jaundiced. "Heck, I don't even know exactly what the problem is, but my first thought is that the customer isn't able to listen to her audio CDs," he says.
"I drift off in thought and begin making my assumptions," fish admits. "There must be a real user out there whose PC is blue-screened... and then there's this flaky user who's whining that she can't listen to her Garth Brooks CDs. Hardly a priority!... These machines are business tools, not entertainment devices.... We never intended that people would be playing music CDs on our machines...
"I realize I'm causing my own pain with these thoughts," says fish. Besides, it might be a real problem, he figures - at one point, the company received a batch of PCs with defective CD drives that require a patch more...