Purchase Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Preacher's Donkey

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, "Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!"
    The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah," he rode off very proud of his new purchase.
    The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading toward a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no... Bible!.... Church!... Please Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just more...

    In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is permitted to purchase and wear his first kilt.
    A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"
    So, the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed.
    A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case ye want anything else made of it."
    So, the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, more...

    This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
    employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does
    not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down
    immediately.
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
    protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
    registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
    information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
    desires.
    [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
    First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
    Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____
    Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified
    Date more...

    A family enter alarge departmental store in a predigious area of London.After browsing the store for several moments they purchase some goods and head for the large counter at the front of the store.It is then that they notice a seal standing in acorner situated near the counter. He appeared to be dressed in a period english gentlemans outfit and nodded frequently when customers goods were packaged.The afore mentioned family then placed their purchases on the counter and each time goods were packaged the seal nodded as if in agreement.Afterthe third purchase was made the head of the family asked the counter assistant why the seal nodded each time a purchase was made. Oh, I, m surprised you asked me that because he is obviously our seal of approval

    A farmer had been taken several times by a local car dealer.
    One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced the unit as follows:
    Basic Cow $ 999.95
    Shipping and Handling 35.75
    Extra Stomach 79.25
    Two-tone Exterior 142.10
    Produce Storage Compartment 128.50
    Heavy Duty Straw Chopper 189.60
    4-Spigot/High Output Drain System 149.20
    Automatic Fly Swatter 88.50
    Genuine Cowhide Upholstery 170.80
    Deluxe Dual Horns 59.25
    Automatic Fertilizer Attachment 339.40
    4 X 4 Traction Drive Assembly 884.16
    Pre-Delivery Wash and Comb 69.80
    Farmer Suggested List Price $ 3336.26
    Additional Dealer Adjustment 300.00
    Total list price
    (including options) $ 3636.26
    Tax and Ear Tags 418.00
    TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE $ 4054.26

  • Recent Activity