Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!
A professor handed out the test papers to all of his students and returned to his desk to wait. When the test was over, the students handed them in.
As the professor was going through the papers, he noticed one student had paper-clipped a $100 bill to his test with an accompanying note saying "A buck a point".
The next day the professor handed the tests back to the respective students.
The student who attached the $100 bill to his, received his test score back along with $64 and a note saying, "here's your change".
There are 3 hunters in the woods, they're all telling each other what they're are going to shoot. The first one says he's going to get a buck. So he goes out and comes back with a buck. Then the other 2 hunters ask how he did it and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get buck''. So the second hunter says "I'm gonna get a doe." So he goes out and comes back with a doe. Then the 3rd hunter asks him how he did it. The 2nd hunter says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get doe''. So the 3rd hunter says, ''I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see''. So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten bruised bloody and totally trashed. And the other two hunters ask what happened and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks, I get hit by train!''
A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on Thurleen's knee. Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, "Oh Buck, we're married now, you can go farther than that!" So he drove on to Laredo.
A cowboy is riding on the plains. He comes across an Indian buck naked lying on his back with a huge erection.
Disgusted he asked "What in the hell are you doing?"
The Indian looked at the shadow of his dick and said "It's 1:00 p.m."
The cowboy rode on. Soon he ran into another Indian. He was lying on his back naked with a hugh erection. The cowboy again asked "What in the hell are you doing?"
The Indian looked at the shadow and said "It's now 2:30 p.m."
The cowboy rode on. Later he came upon third Indian. He was lying on his back buck naked whacking himself off.
The cowboy asked "Jesus Christ! What are you doing?"
The Indian replied "I'm winding my watch."