Boston Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. "Name?" "Brendan OConnor." "Same as mine. Where are you from?" "County Cork." "Same as me......" The policeman paused with his pen in the air. "Hold on a moment and Ill come back and talk about the old county. I want to say something to this fella that ran into the back of your cab."
A Boston bar is now serving a novelty A-Roid cocktail. The drink is overpriced and best before October.
''Usenet is like Tetris for people who still know how to read.'' - Computer Museum (Boston)
''Usenet isn't a right. It's a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw.'' - Computer Museum (Boston)
''If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about... five minutes.'' - Anon.
''Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!'' - Blair Houghton
''The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.'' - Anon.
''What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.'' - Anon.
''Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?'' - Anon.
''If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, more...
The Scene: The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker working in New York. The Boy is doing his residency in Boston and was given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Chicago.
Monday night, 10 pm
Girl: Hello?
Boy: (Shit, she's home!) Umm, hi! Is this ---?
Girl: Speaking.
Boy: My name is ---. I don't know if you know who I am- (God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I'll sound like a complete idiot.) Hell, I already sound like a complete idiot. I don't even know why I'm doing this!)
Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?
Boy: Yeah. (Ok, she was told about me, that's a fucking relief. I wonder what she was told - "He's a resident, tall, and fair, and he graduated from Ivy League school!" God, she probably hates me already!)
Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number. (I can't believe he actually more...
A man telephoned airline office at New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the man said and hung up.
The New York Yankees swept the Boston Red Sox five games out of five this week. As a kid who grew up in Boston I feel sorrow for my fellow Bostonians. As a guy living in New York right now I'll keep my fucking mouth shut.
The NFL wants it's players to donate their brains to Boston University researchers so they can study how brains are affected by playing football at the professional level. Exempted from the study were all members of the Lions and Rams.