Boots Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Big Feet

    Hot 1 year ago

    A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had on the biggest boots she'd ever seen! The woman asked the cowboy, "Is it true what they say about men with big feet?"
    The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't ya come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"
    The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
    Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
    The woman replied, "Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

    Lost Boots

    Hot 6 years ago

    A little boy was standing the the classroom crying, so the teacher asked him what was wrong. "I can't find my boots," the little boy sobbed.
    The teacher looked around the room and saw a pair of boots. "Are these yours?" she asked. "No, those aren't mine," he cried.
    The teacher and the little boy searched all over the classroom for his boots. Finally, the teacher gave up and said, "Are you SURE those aren't your boots?"
    "Yes, I'm sure," sobbed the boy. "Mine had snow on them!"

    T'was the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
    Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
    Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
    A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.
    Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
    For this was Texas, what more need be said,
    When all of a sudden, from out of the still night,
    There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright.
    And I saw 'cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun,
    A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run,
    The driver was "Geein" and "Hawin", with a will,
    The horses (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
    "Come on there Buck, Poncho, & Prince, to the right,
    There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight."
    The driver in Levi's and a shirt that was red,
    Had a ten-gallon Stetson on top of his head.
    As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
    With his beard and moustache, so curly and white.
    As he burst in the more...

    Cowboy Boots

    Hot 6 years ago

    A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John never
    had a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at Sheplers one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"
    Gail looks him over, "Nope."
    Frustrated John storms off in to the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"
    Gail looks up and says, "John, what's different? It's hanging down today it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
    tomorrow.
    Furious, John yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, GAIL? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
    To which Gail replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, John. Shoulda bought a more...

    I Don't Think He'll Win Any Popularity Contests...
    ... On Monday morning it was determined to arrest "the Greaser," Joe Pizzanthia, and to see precisely how his record stood in the Territory... A party started for his cabin, which was built on a side-hill. The interior looked darker than usual from the bright glare of the surrounding snow. The smmons to come forth being disregarded, Smith Ball and George Copley entered, contrary to the advice of their comrades, and instantly recieved the fire of their concealed foe. Copley was shot through the breast. Smith Ball recieved a bullet in the hip. They both staggered out, each ejaculating, "I'm shot." Copley was led off by two friends, and died of his wound. Smith Ball recovered himself, and was able to empty his six shooter into the body of the assassin, when the latter was dragged forth.
    The popular excitement rose nearly to madness. Copley was a much-esteemed citizen, and Smith Ball had many friends. It was more...

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