Blaze Jokes

If you are familiar with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), then you are aware of the fact they will do almost anything to protect animals. This year's efforts to save Ohio's deer from the annual statewide gun season has backfired.

For safety's sake, hunters in Ohio are required by law to display at least 400 square inches of hunter's blaze orange on their person when in the woods.

Capitalizing on the fact that hunters do not usually shoot orange, PETA recently bulk purchased blaze orange vests and have been affixing them to live-trapped deer in Youngstown suburbs. According to PETA spokesperson Katie Reese, a total of 405 vests were successfully put into circulation prior to this week, with additional specimens still being caught and vested. Youngtown entrepreneur Guy Lockey, of Guy's Outdoors has spit in the face of PETA by offering rewards for the returned vests this week.

Hunters who can successfully bag a vested deer can pay $5 more...

There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn`t subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."

A ship was travelling over a rough sea when all of a sudden a violent storm broke out.
The people on the boat were extremely scared of being thrown overboard so they all went downstairs. When the big waves started throwing the ship around there were still three people on deck who refused to go downstairs.
After a few hard knocks the ship was turned upside down and sank. The only survivors were the three guys who stayed on deck who washed up on a deserted island.
The next morning the guys decided that they would have to live together in harmony and they made an agreement to be friends.
Two days later after the three guys had built a shelter and found some fresh water and fruit, a bottle washed up on the shore. One of the guys walked up the beach and brought the bottle back to the shelter for the others to see.
Blaze, the smartest of the three said they should open it. Jay, the strongest of the three grabbed the bottle and pulled at the cork wedged tightly in the more...

A large oil field in Oklahoma suffers a disaster in the form of a huge rig
fire. The foreman, desperate to curtail the blaze, thumbs through the phone
book for Red Adair's number (Red is a famous oil-firefighter). Foreman finds
the number, calls, and is told that Red is unavailable, since he's fighting an
off-shore rig fire in Southern California.
Desperate, the foreman returns to the book and finds, listed under Red Adair,
a "Red ," advertising rig fire services at $100 per
hour. Since this is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than Adair anyway, the guy calls and
describes the situation. He is assured that someone will be on the scene
within the hour.
True to his word, within 45 minutes the foreman sees a vehicle approaching the
scene of the blaze at top speed. As it gets closer, he notes that it is a
grungy '68 pickup, with a load of JEDRs in the back. Without slowing,
the pickup drives directly into the middle of the fire, everyone more...