Deck Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Survival Guide

    Hot 5 years ago

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
    Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
    "Why's that Timmy?"
    "Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
    "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"

    Desert Survival

    Hot 7 years ago

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert."What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand."Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.""Why's that Timmy?""Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration...""And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently."Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten."

    Balls to your partner

    Hot 4 years ago

    An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on
    the deck of a ship watching war exercises. (OK, OK, so this is an old one..)
    The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts,
    "Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!"
    Upon which the American (naturally) challenges him: "Oh YEAH?"
    The Russian says, "Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck (into the freezing
    Atlantic) and swim around the ship!"
    Yuri marches off without a word, and does as he is told. The Russian turns
    around and says: "See, there's an example of courage!"
    The American has to top this, so he calls up one of his underlings and gives
    him the order:
    "Jack, Jump off the main mast into the ocean, and swim around the ship
    seven times!"
    Poor Jack goes off without a murmur, and he too does as he is told. The
    American General says: "Now top that for more...

    Solitaire !!

    Hot 2 years ago

    A army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.
    Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Santa in the back eagerly raised his hand.
    "Yes Santa, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?"
    Santa replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
    "Why's that Santa ?"
    "Well," answered Santa, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
    "And what about the deck of cards?" asked trainer impatiently.
    "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
    "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you
    get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important
    things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
    Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are
    the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout
    Master.
    Timmy replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
    "Why's that, Timmy?"
    "Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water
    is to prevent dehydration..."
    "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently.
    "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up
    behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten!'"

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