Barber Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.
A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop an says, "About an hour and half."
The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop, and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looked up and said, "To your house."
There are three ladies. Each walk into a salon at different times. A barber looks up as a
brown haired girl walks in. "
Wow. You have such
beautiful brown hair."
and the girl says, "
Thanks, it's natural."
she runs her hand through her hair. Then the blonde walks in. "
You have shiney blonde hair."
and the blonde does the same. "
Oh. Thanks. It's natural."
she ran her hand through her hair. Then an unusual green haired lady walks in. "
Your hair sure is different."
the barber says. "
Oh. Wow. It's natural."
she runs her hand up her nostrils, and to her hair!
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and says, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, follow that guy and see where he goes." When the friend returns, the barber says, "Well, where did he go when he left here?" The friend looks up and says, "To your house, to screw your wife."
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.
This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes."
In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looked up and said, "To your house."
There was this good samaritan barber in a city in the US. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the haircut when he wanted to pay, the barber replied,' Thank you, but I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The florist was pleasantly surprised and went back happy. The next morning when the barber opened the shop, there was a thank you card with a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Next day, a cop went for a haircut and he also got the same reply from the barber,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The cop was happy and left the shop. When the barber reached his shop the next morning, there was a thank you note and a dozen cookies waiting for him.
An Indian software engineer went for a haircut and when he wanted to pay the barber, he too got the same reply,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The next morning when the barber went to open his more...
Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands him a twenty-dollar bill, he says, "Listen, it's... it's none of my business, but... why would you take a piss in the corner of your barber shop?"The barber says, "Hey, my lease is up in two weeks... do I care?"The barber goes over to the cash register, rings up the haircut, and comes back with Cronin's change. When he comes back, Cronin's standing there taking a shit on the floor. The barber says, "What are you doing?"Cronin says, "Well, fuck, I'm leaving now."