A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."
"Oh, please?" his girlfriend purred.
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, John crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
His wife stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Robert, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................
1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.
3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.
4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.
5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.
6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.
7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.
8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...
Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
Banta places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave Banta has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Banta asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.' 'I have just the thing,'' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.' 'Just place this between your cheek and gum.''
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech,' 'And what if I swallow it?''' 'No problem,'' says the barber.' 'Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.''
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave
twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. And all five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9 ", it is presumed his Mother had an affair. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when: Your grandfather had a fig tree. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00. Christmas Eve. . . only fish. Your mom's meatballs are the best. You've been hit more...