Bananas Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being waited on hand and foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly. The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue. One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4 more...

User-FRIENDLY
C:> DUR
Command not found. Try retyping
User-HELPFUL
C:> DUR
I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR?
User-UNFRIENDLY
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
User-HOSTILE
C:> DUR
Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.
User-INDIFFERENT
C:> DUR
DUR?
User-PATRONISING
C:> DUR
Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the
manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.
User-OBSEQUIOUS
C:> DUR
I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my
fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.
User-SARCASTIC
C:> DUR
Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.
User-INSULTING
C:> DUR
S*d off
C:> DIR
S*d off
User-Smug
C:> DUR
No
C:> DOR
Nope
C:> HELP
No
C:> PLEASE
Not unless you give me a 1Gb hard disk to more...

Q: Why dont blondes eat bananas? A1: They cant find the zipper. A2: They cant find the pull tab.

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"

Janecrilza was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts, she never had a boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help. Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life. But in the reincarnation, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet.
Janecrilza left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she thought: "the sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins"
She decided to jump off the bridge right away.
But, incredibly Janecrilza didn't die!
She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas; she lost her senses and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings, feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on her face:
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE! ONE AT A TIME

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. he booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... at least till a hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 4-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. But for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he saw a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island, "she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How more...

A man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
For the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue. One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen - or at least in last 4 months. She was tall, tanned, and her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze.
He watched as she rowed her boat toward him.
As she arrived at the beach, he asked, "Where did you come from, how did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of more...