Bananas Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are bananas never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches.

Theyre not going to grow bananas any longer. Really? Why not? Because theyre long enough already.

21. Sane Oilman Bad
20. I bona leadsman
19. Nasal Nomad Be I
18. Be a Slain Nomad
17. A bend lama son
16. Albania`s Demon
15. A lesbian nomad
14. Alias "Boned Man"
13. So I anal bad men
12. And I blame a son
11. No Asian bedlam
10. I. D.: Mean Anal S. O. B.
9. I, a sad nobleman
8. A slain abdomen
7. I`m so banal, Edna
6. I model bananas
5. A mob, insane lad
4. Is a lone, bad man
3. Do a samba, Lenin
2. I`m Dole bananas
1. Abandon E-mails

Why dont bananas snore? Because they dont want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Caption Contest:

If this scene went Gilbert & Sullivan:
Starts with palsied kid singing:
"I'm a palsied kid at a table
trying to eat a turkey
But really I'm unable
Right here in Albuquerque
For my hands are so unstable
and my mind's a little murkey
Too bad it's not beef jerky"
The Chorus:
"Too bad it's not beef jerky
too bad it's not beef jerky
He's from Albuquerque
In New Mex-i-co, New Mex-i-co
trying to eat a turkey
But he's just too herky-jerky
Yes, he cannot eat a turkey
'cause he's just too herky-jerky"
And then, as with all good Gilbert & Sullivan, the bananas in the background start dancing and singing:
"We're a bunch of bananas from Paraguay
They said "Come to America" we said "No way!"
But here we are and we must say
You better eat us now or we turning black
And once we do, we never get out credit back
You better eat us now or more...

As part of the hospital's admission procedure, patients are asked if they are allergic to anything. If so, it's printed on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrist.
When an elderly woman was being admitted, she was asked if she had any allergies and she said she couldn't eat bananas.
Several hours later, the elderly woman's son stormed over to the nurses' station, demanding, "Who's reponsible for labelling my mother 'bananas'?"

What would you call two bananas? A pair of slippers.