Austrailian Jokes / Recent Jokes

>>>In Australia, this man walks into a bar one night and a visiting
>>>drunken indian says to him:
>>>"HE MANN, IZ INT DERE ANNEE WEMEN IN DIS
>>>FUCK"N CUNTRY?"
>>>
>>>The Austrailian guy says:
>>>"SURE MATE. WATCH THIS......"
>>>
>>> He walks up to a girl and says:
>>>"TICKLE YOUR TWAT WITH A FEATHER?"
>>>
>>>The girl said immediately:
>>>"WHAT????????"
>>>
>>>He then quickly replied:
>>>"I SAID, TYPICAL TROPICAL WEATHER."
>>>
>>>He walked up to another girl and said very politely:
>>>"TICKLE YOUR TWAT WITH A FEATHER?"
>>>
>>>Girl: "SURE." And the two walked out of the bar. The next evening,
>>>the indian went back to the bar to see if he could learn some lines
>>>to pick up women. He found the austrailian guy and asked for advice.
>>>
>>>He replied by saying:
>>>"YOU GO UP TO A more...

Q: How many Austrailian Royalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but there is only one and she is old and not feeling that well these days so... hurry!

What is the difference between humor and odor?
Humor is a move of wit.
What is the difference between a rich man and a poor man?
A rich man has a shelter over his bed.
What is the difference between a snake and a goose?
A snake is an asp in the grass.
What is the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
A rooster says cock-a-doodle do.
What is the difference between a girls track team and a band of Austrailian Aboriginies?
The Austrailian Aboriginies are a bunch of cunning runts.
What is the difference between a prostitute with diharreha and an epileptic Nebraska cornhusker?
The epileptic Nebraska cornhusker has fits before he shucks.
What is the longest thing on earth?
A womans leg. It goes from earth to heaven.

Q. What is an Austrailian kiss?
A. Same as a french but down under!!!

What is the difference between humor and odor?
Humor is a shift of wit.
What is the difference between a rich man and a poor man?
A rich man has a canopy over his bed.
What is the difference between a snake and a goose?
A snake is an asp in the grass.
What is the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
A rooster says cock-a-doodle do.
What is the difference between a girls track team and a band of Austrailian Aboriginies?
The Austrailian Aboriginies are a bunch of cunning runts.
What is the difference between a prostitute with diharreha and an epileptic Nebraska cornhusker?
The epileptic Nebraska cornhusker has fits before he shucks.
What is the longest thing on earth?
A womans leg. It goes from earth to heaven.