Associate Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Sunday morning the local church pastor called his associate and told him he was under the weather and that he would have to preach this morning. So the associate told the pastor that is fine and get well. So the pastor got his golfing clothes on and drove to an out of town golf course so no one would recognize him. He went through holes 1 through 17 with par or better. The pastor said to himself this is the best round of golf I have ever played. So he teed off on hole 18 and he hit a hole in one. He was stoked. He looks up to heaven and says God did you see that. God replied yeah, I did, but who are you going to tell.

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm.
After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate.
However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled.
"All I know for sure is that it was a partner - I had to do all the work."

A new female associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room at her new firm, to her surprise and delight.

When asked by her best friend to identify the new lover, she was puzzled: "All I know for sure is that it was a partner - he made me do all the work."

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you? The Lord sighed, and said, No, I guess not. Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked more...

A partner, an associate, and a paralegal from a major law firm are at having a lunch meeting in a conference room when the paralegal notices someone left an ancient-looking lamp on the floor. She rubs the lamp, and a genie appears.

"Masters," the genie, "I will grant each of you one wish." The paralegal speaks up immediately. "I want to be to be on a Greek Island, basking in the sun, with a gorgeous man giving me a massage." The next moment she disappears.

Seeing that the paralegal got her wish, the associate decides to go for it. "I want to be on the most beautiful beach in Thailand." Another moment, and the associate disappears as well.

The genie turns to the partner. "Well...?"

"I don't care where you sent those two," the partner finally says. "But I want both of them back here right after lunch."

A paralegal, an associate and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Brad Pitt."
Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other."
Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the partner.
The partner says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you? ” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not. ” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked more...