Norton Jokes

As A Young Man, Norton Was An Exceptional Golfer. At The Age Of 26, However, He Decided To Become A Priest, And Joined A Rather Peculiar Order. He Took The Usual Vows Of Poverty, Chastity, But His Order Also Required That He Quit Golf And Never Play Again.

This Was Particularly Difficult For Norton, But He Agreed And Was Finally Ordained A Priest. One Sunday Morning, The Reverend Father Norton Woke Up And Realizing It Was An Exceptionally Beautiful And Sunny Early Spring Day, Decided He Just Had To Play Golf.

So, He Told The Associate Pastor That He Was Feeling Sick And Persuaded Him To Say Mass For Him That Day. As Soon As The Associate Pastor Left The Room, Father Norton Headed Out Of Town To A Golf Course About Forty Miles Away. This Way He Knew He Wouldn't Accidentally Meet Anyone He Knew From His Parish. Setting Up On The First Tee, He Was Alone. After All, It Was Sunday Morning And Everyone Else Was In Church!

At About This Time, Saint Peter more...

Yeardly Norton, an Irishman, was a leading criminal lawyer of Madras known for his biting sarcasm. He was appearing on behalf of a plaintiff in a very sensational case involving two important personalities in a case of adultery.
To drive home his point, without wasting time of the court, he said:
'Your Honour, the case is very simple. But in a case of adultery, you will agree that it is difficult to prove factual reality in pictures unless a three dimensional camera is fixed to every bedroom since a mere peep through the keyhole will never suffice. But, in all fairness, if a man and woman are alway found closeted in a room for hours at a stretch, rather Your Lordship nor I would expect them to be reading the Bible or the Geeta.' Norton won his case.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Norton!
Norton who?
Norton cocaine is stupid!

Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you? ” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not. ” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked more...

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was more...