Associate Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was more...
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So.... he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the associate pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! Saint Peter was more...
A paralegal, an associate and a partner of a large law firm are walking through a city park, when they spotted an antique oil lamp.
The paralegal picked it up, but both the associate and partner grabbed for it, arguing that they found it first. Their tussling had the effect of rubbing the lamp, and to their shock a Genie emerged in a great cloud of smoke.
The Genie announced, "In gratitude of your freeing me from the lamp, I grant you three wishes. As there are three of you, you each get one wish."
The paralegal blurts out, "I want to be in the Barbados, sipping cocktails with a gorgeous movie star." Poof! The paralegal was gone.
The associate, excited by the events, stammers, "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! The associate was gone.
"You're last," the Genie says to the partner, "What is your wish?"
The partner more...
The Reverand Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realising it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to take the service for the day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about fifty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidently meet anyone from his Parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed " You're not going to let him get away with this one are you?" The Lord sighed, and said "No I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and shot it straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was more...
"My sex life has improved immeasurably since my wife and I got twin beds," the business executive confided to an associate.
"How can that be?" the associate asked.
"Well," replied the exec, "hers is in Connecticut and mine's in Manhattan."