Assignment Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.
Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three more...

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).8. more...

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser more...

When my granddaughter, Abby was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher to write a story on "Where my family came from." The purpose was to understand your genealogy.I was not aware of her assignment when she asked me at the dining room table one night, "Grandma, where did I come from?" I responded quite nervously because my son and
daughter-in-law were out of town and I was stalling until they returned home, "Well, honey, the stork brought you.""Where did Mom come from then?""The stork brought her, too.""OK, then where did you come from?""The stork brought me too, dear.""Okay, thanks, Grandma."I did not think anything more about it until two days later when I was cleaning Ann's room and read the first sentence of her paper, "For three generations there have been no natural births in our family."

Ever wondered what heaven looks like?
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens, face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the voice of any clerk in any overgrown bureaucracy. "My name is Gabriel and I'll be your induction coordinator." Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel interrupted him. "No, more...

An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night`s homework assignment:

How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help?
About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent? About 70% of the class raises their hand. The teacher still notices about 5% of the class did not raise their hands. She then calls out, "How many people had to help a parent complete your assignment?

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When
he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were
literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to
do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks,
while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd.
Booze and drugs were being passed around. Fights were commonplace.
Sanitation conditions were appalling. All in all, the scene looked like
Woodstock gone metastatic.
Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the
staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens,
face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM
PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the
voice of more...