Aries Jokes

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    Condoms Of The Zodiac

    Hot 4 years ago

    SCORPIO
    Scorpio condoms outsell all others. That's probably because people try to impress each other with their sexual prowess by pretending that they're a Scorpio. The truth is that no right thinking Scorpio would get caught dead wearing a condom. But then death doesn't scare a Scorpio. And a Scorpio doesn't get caught.
    Scorpio condoms come in two editions, basic black and the stealthy invisible model. Both leather and studs are optional. Also, because propriety concerns Scorpio, each package of Scorpio condoms comes with a pre-printed, pre-coital agreement. Symbolized by the venomous Scorpion, when you really want to sting your lover, you want a Scorpio condom.
    SAGITTARIAN
    Sagittarians are known for their worldly pursuits, gamesmanship, cosmopolitan attitude and knack for doing things in a big way. Sagittarian condoms are the sportier models. They come equipped with travel cases.
    Sagittarian condoms are the ones that go with you and grow with you. They promise a more...

    Aries:
    Just one. You want to make something of it? Taurus:
    One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.Gemini:
    Two, but the job never gets done - they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.Cancer:
    Just one. But it takes a therapist three years
    to help them through the grief process.Leo:
    Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes
    their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them
    while they're out.Virgo:
    Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.Libra:
    Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you? Scorpio:
    That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.Sagittarius:
    The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid more...

    The Fart Zodiac

    Hot 2 years ago

    Aries

    The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.

    Taurus

    The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

    Knock Knock Who's there? Aries! Aries who? Aries a reason why I talk this way! Knock Knock Who's there? Arizona! Arizona who? Arizona room for one of us in this town! Knock Knock Who's there? Anka! Anka who? Anka the ship! Knock Knock Who's there? Ankansas! Ankansas who? Ankansas though any piece of wood! Knock Knock Who's there? Amory! Amory who? Amory Christmas and a Happy New Year!

    Knock Knock
    Who's there!
    Aries!
    Aries who?
    Aries a reason why I talk this way!

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