Annoying Jokes / Recent Jokes
A cat matures as it grows older.
Back hair on cats is cute.
Cats comfort you when you are sick.
When a cat sleeps all day it's natural, not annoying.
Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.
A cat is loyal.
Cats actually think with their heads.
"Meow" is never a lie.
They'll both stand outside your door and whine, but the cat will stop when it gets in.
It's more amusing to watch a cat try and deal with a piece of tape stuck on its paw than to watch a man do anything.
To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs 35 cents.
A cat's friend is less likely to be annoying.
Cats can't show love without meaning it.
Cats are always cute.
It is legal in all states to neuter a cat.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting.
Top 75 Reasons Why Women Should Not Have Freedom Of Speech
1. She doesn't need to talk to get me a beer.
2. If she's in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway.
3. If she can talk, all she'll do is complain.
4. Because she won't say "I will" instead of "I do."
5. No man wants to hear "first down" during a basketball game.
6. Because PMS is no excuse for whining.
7. No man needs or wants to hear the word "period" unless it has to do with hockey.
8. Women created tampon and yeast infection commercials during football.
9. Affirmative action.
10. When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey.
11. If my dick's in her mouth, she can't talk anyway.
12. Oprah.
13. Feminists.
14. Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an equally stupid statement.
15. The 2nd and 19th amendments.
16. I don't want to be made to lie and more...
Reasons Women Should Not Have Freedom of Speech...1. She doesn't need to talk to get me a beer.2. If she's in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway.3. If she can talk, all she'll do is complain.4. Because she won't say "I will" instead of "I do."5. No man wants to hear "first down" during a basketball game.6. Because PMS is no excuse for whining.7. No man needs or wants to hear the word "period" unless it has to do with hockey.8. Women created tampon and yeast infection commercials during football.9. Affirmative action.10. When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey.11. If my dick's in her mouth, she can't talk anyway.12. Oprah.13. Feminists.14. Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an equally stupid statement.15. The 2nd and 19th amendments.16. I don't want to be made to lie and say "I love you" after sex.17. Highway fatalities would decrease by over more...
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1. 0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
Wife 1. 0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
that some applications such as PokerNight 10. 3, BeerBash 2. 5, and
PubNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
(even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1. 0
automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55. 8 more...
The male type
Ok, we all know all men seem to fall into categories, well a friend of mine and I were discussing it one day and we decided to create the "man lecture". So here it is:
All men have their own type, of which there are 5.
Type 1: Man.
Type 2: Annoying man.
Type 3: Annoying possessive man.
Type 4: Annoying, possessive, jealous, and controlling man.
Type 5: Annoying, possessive, jealous, controlling, and a down right jerk off.
,
All these types have their own sub-types.
Type 1: A. Good father.
Type 1: B. Thoughtful.
Type 1: C. Excellent bedmate (yes I mean it the sexual way)
Type 1: D. Trustworthy.
Type 1. E. Deals with his problems by facing them.
Type 2: A. Decent father.
Type 2: B. Is lucky to remember your birthday.
Type 2: C. Does ok.
Type 3: A. Could do a lot better.
Type 3: B. Is lucky to remember his birthday.
Type 3: C. Could use a few pointers, but is otherwise all more...
Banta had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more.
One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill.
The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass.
In her annoying voice, she snickered, "It seems we are a little cloudy today."
Banta put on his angry face, snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time."