Affirmations Jokes

The boss giving you a rough time? Just try these "attainable affirmations," and your work week is sure to fly by!1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.12. As I learn the more...