In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the more...
After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step aside by a man who announced, "Step back please! I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR."The woman watched his procedures for a few moments, then tapped him on the shoulder."When you get to the part about calling a doctor," she said, "I'm already here!"
Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here
in heaven: Don`t step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together
and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to the ugly woman!"
The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn`t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Aamir Khan.
Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY more...
HOW TO COOK A TURKEY
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
1 How do you fit an elephant into your fridge within 3 steps?
2 How do you fit a zebra in your fridge?
3 King of the jungle, the lion every animal in the jungle will come to his wedding but one animal won't which one is it?
4 A man needs to get to the other side of a bridge desperately there are killer alligators that live in the river and there is no boat how do you get across??
1. step 1- open the fridge.
step 2- put elephant in the fridge.
step 3- close the fridge.
2. step 1- open the fridge.
step 2- take the elephant out.
step 3- put the zebra in.
step 4- close the fridge.
3. The zebra because it is in the fridge.
4. Swim because the alligators are at the wedding.