Actors Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Two actors that haven't seen each other in several weeks run in to each other on the street.
1st Actor: Haven't seen you in a while, how's everything going?
2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two weeks ago I got a call from a lawyer in Florida. It seems I had an aunt that I never knew about that died and left me $2, 000, 000.
#1: That's great!
#2: Yeah. And then last week I hit the lottery and won $7, 000, 000.
#1: That's wonderful!
#2: Yeah, but this week, nothing!
A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, "Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it's being born."
The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this.
"Why? Don't you know what colour the child is going to be?"
"Well", says the woman, "The problem is that I'm a porno actress and the child was conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is."
"Okay", says the doctor, "I'll do it for you but it is most unusual."
The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, "Here comes the head! It seems to have yellow skin and the eyes are slanted. Was one of the actors Chinese?"
"Yes, doctor he was.", says the woman.
"Wait", says the doctor, "The chest and arms are out and they seem to be very dark. Was one of the actors black?"
"Yes, doctor he was."
"Wait, now the legs more...
Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that's where they get their best cues.