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Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:
Support: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you? ”
Customer: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. ”
Support: “What sort of trouble? ”
Customer: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. ”,
Support: “Went away? ”
Customer: ”They disappeared. ”
Support: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? ”
Customer: “Nothing. ”
Support: “Nothing? ”
Customer: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type. ”
Support: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out? ”
Customer: “How do I tell? ”
Support: “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen? ”
Customer: “What’s a sea-prompt? ”
Support: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen? ”
Customer: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type. more...

There was this good samaritan barber in a city in the US. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the haircut when he wanted to pay, the barber replied,' Thank you, but I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The florist was pleasantly surprised and went back happy. The next morning when the barber opened the shop, there was a thank you card with a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Next day, a cop went for a haircut and he also got the same reply from the barber,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The cop was happy and left the shop. When the barber reached his shop the next morning, there was a thank you note and a dozen cookies waiting for him.
An Indian software engineer went for a haircut and when he wanted to pay the barber, he too got the same reply,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The next morning when the barber went to open his more...

'Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?' 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

'What sort of trouble?' 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

'Went away?' 'They disappeared.'

'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' 'Nothing.'

'Nothing?' 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' 'How do I tell?'

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?' 'What's a sea-prompt?'

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?' 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?]

'Does your monitor have a power indicator?' 'What's a more...

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None
survived.
One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and
laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the
Creator of all.
Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three.
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You!
Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could
smoke while the Torah was being read???"
Goldblum shuddered.
God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word
is strong!"
Goldblum sighed with relief.
"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but
really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple
during Yom Kippur?"
Bauman hung his head in shame.
"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that
which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast
and loose with my people, but I can more...

The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credit, accept the late work and tell them that it will be awarded full credit. However, do inform them that you will not have time to grade it until after you complete your Ph. D. DISRUPTIVE STUDENTS 1. If students will not stop talking when the class period begins, announce that there will be a quiz the following day on today's lecture. Then leave. 2. If your students are prone to reading the school paper in class, try taking out a full page ad in the paper informing them that they are going to flunk your class. LECTURES 1. In the event that you are unprepared for a lecture, be sure to use the class time to stress to the class the importance of keeping up with the readings. In fact, spend most of the class time stressing this. 2. When the time comes to lecture on a subject you know more...

"Good Afternnoon, Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does ithave a little light that tells you when it's more...

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. "Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???" Goldblum shuddered. God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!" Goldblum sighed with relief. "Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?" Bauman hung his head in shame. "Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my peo ple, but I can accept these indiscretions." Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, He turns to the more...