"Santa's Favorite Jokes" joke
Santa loves a good joke. He must -- he tells the same ones over
and over again, time after time! Here are some of his favorites:
I just got back from my yearly flight around the world. Boy, are
my arms tired!... After I left home, I wrote my mother that I'd
grown another foot. So she knit me another sock.
Let me tell you about the Ice Nymphs. Once three nymphs were
sleeping in the same bed. It was so crowded that one got out and
slept on the floor. After a while, one of the Nymphs said to the
one on the floor, "You ought to get back in the bed with us.
There's lots more room now!"... Once the Nymphs were out playing
football. One of the players asked the coach to flood the field
so he could go in as a sub.
Then there are the elves. One of the elves is great at magic. He
walked around the corner and turned into an outhouse.... One elf
snored so loud he woke himself up. But then he solved the problem
-- he started sleeping in the next room.... Everyone knows the elves
are famous for the baths they take each year. But perhaps you
don't know what the first elf in the tub is called -- he's the
ringleader..... We've got one elf who just hates to take baths.
Once he got so dirty that when he finally took a bath he found some
underwear he thought he'd lost three years before.
With all my expertise over the years I've learned some interesting
things. For instance, if a bee and a doorbell get married, what
kind of children to you think they'll have? Humdingers!.... And
I've learned why penguins cross the road only halfway -- they like
to lay it on the line..... I deliver toys to a boy who parts his
hair from ear to ear. Its a real problem -- people keep whispering
in his nose!
People always have questions about my reindeer. For instance, they
want to know why reindeer wear bells. I tell them it's because
their horns don't work..... Or they ask, "How much reindeer feed
do you get for a quarter?" My answer: "None. Quarters don't eat
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