"No Fishing!" joke
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out.
She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, "Is this guy blind or what?"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman.
"I didn't even touch you," growls the sheriff.
"Yes, that's true... but you have all the equipment..."
Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!
Your Moma is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the strret with one shoe, I hollered-"lost a shoe", and she said-"Nope... just found one..."
your mumma is so fat when she stands on the scales the scales say TO BE CONTINUED
your momma is so dumb when she gets locked in the supermarket she dies of starvation
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide" the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered more...