"Doctor, a mouse ran up my wife''s cunt" joke
This guy called up his doctor late one night and said, "Doc, I've got a terrible problem. A mouse ran up my wife's cunt."
"I'll be right over," the doctor said, "In the meantime, get a piece of cheese and hold it next to her snatch - maybe the mouse will come out on its own."
A few minutes later, the doctor arrived, only to see the man holding a fish up to his wifes hole. He said, "I told you to hold a piece of cheese to get the mouse out."
The guy said, "I know, but I've got to get the cat out first."
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...