Window Jokes / Recent Jokes

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

Quasimodo, the bell-ringer for the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, goes to the cardinal. "Cardinal, I'm getting pretty old and I'd like to retire, and live the rest of my life peacefully." The cardinal says, "That's fine Quasi, we'll just let the town crier know so he can put out the call to find a new bell-ringer." The cardinal does this, and both he and Quasimodo hear the town crier announcing the job opening.
After about three weeks, they are shocked because they haven't had anyone come for the job opening. The cardinal and Quasimodo are down on the steps talking, "Quasi," said the cardinal, "I'm sorry to say this but I can't let you go retire. We don't have anyone to ring the bells if you go. We'll keep the job offer open to anyone, but no one seems to want to do it." As he was speaking, an armless man runs up, and out of breath says, "I'm - here about - the bell - ringing job. Is it still - available?" The cardinal looks to more...

Golf Genie
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on
the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her
shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very
large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through
the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to
see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they
peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out
and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small
gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked
the man, "
Do you live here?"
"
No, someone just hit a ball through the
window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little
bottle. I am so grateful!"
he answe red. The wife asked, "
Are you a
genie?"
more...

Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people-many of whom use their stupidity for personal gain. From time to time, though, we hear of those who strive to achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law. To these brave men and women-ooops, "women and men"-we
present the highest possible honor: entry into the "Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame."
Following are their accounts...
Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the more...

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was Work jokes. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump outthe window my husband is home early!" Ralph looked out thewindow and said: "I can't jump out the window! It's raininglike hell out there!" Mary cried: "If my husband catches usin here, he will kill both of us!" So the boyfriend grabbedhis clothes and jumped out the window! When he landed outsidehe found himself in the middle of a marathon race... so hestarted running along side the others -- only he was still inthe nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" Ralph answered, while gasping for air: "Oh yes, It feels sofree having the air blow over your skin while you are running." The other runner then asked the nude man: "Do you more...

A priest, a carpenter, and an army man all go up in a plane. The priest says lets all throw something out the window. So the priest starts by throwing a bible out the window. Then the carpenter throws a hammer out the window. Then the army man decides to throw a gernade out the window.
After they throw everything out window the priest goes down to see what happened. He goes up to a kid that is crying and asks him what happened. He says a bible fell down and hit him. Then the priest goes up to another kid thats crying and he asks what happend. The kid says a bible hit him. Then the priest goes up to an old man sitting in a lawn chair laughing and asks what happened.
The grandpa says I just farted and the building behind me blew up!

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.

He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone."

The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? more...