Wind Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holdingher hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do notintend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowingup in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down thereis 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

    An Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

    "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" her husband demanded.

    "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

    Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies.

    "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no undies. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

    Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her more...

    10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
    9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
    8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
    7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
    6. Family coming to stay with you.
    5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
    4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
    3. Days off from work.
    2. Candles.

    1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

    I've got one of those wristwatches that is wound by movement. The first page of the instruction leaflet says, "This watch is wound by normal wrist movement. Three minutes of normal wrist movement will wind the watch for about 8 hours."
    That means that an episode of Baywatch should wind it up for, let's say about a week. :-)
    (For those in countries which don't receive Baywatch, it is a US American TV series in which everything from plot to production values is secondary to the breast size of the female characters.)

    In related news, a developer said a proposed wind farm site near DC is too windy because of its proximity to Joe Biden.

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