Particular Jokes

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    Squaring Up

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philipines.
    As he stepped out of the aiport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard.
    Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. Verri faast!!"
    Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good! Very faast"
    The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it.
    "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, more...

    1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain.
    2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
    3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
    4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
    5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!'
    6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
    7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsellable.
    8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...
    9....but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'.
    10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.'
    11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
    12. Ask a salesman why a particular tv is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange more...

    1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
    2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
    3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
    4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
    5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!'
    6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
    7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
    8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...
    9....but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'.
    10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.'
    11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
    12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a more...

    A man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going down the drain. He doesn't know what to do and is seriously contemplating suicide. He goes to the rabbi to seek his advice. He tells the rabbi about all of his problems in the business and asks the rabbi what he should do. The rabbi says, "Take a beach chair and a Bible and put them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the car, sit on it and take the bible out and open it up. The wind will riffle the pages for a while and eventually the bible will stay open at a particular page. Read the bible and it will tell you what to do."
    The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and a bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits on the chair at the water's edge and opens the Bible. The wind riffles the pages of the bible and then stops at a particular page. He looks down at the bible and sees what he has to do.
    Three more...

    A man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going down the drain. He is seriously contemplating suicide and he doesn't know what to do. He goes to the Rabbi to seek his advice. He tells the Rabbi about all of his problems in the business and asks the Rabbi what he should do. The Rabbi says "Take a beach chair and a bible and put them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the car, sit on it and take the bible out and open it up. The wind will rifle the pages for a while and eventually the bible will stay open at a particular page. Read the bible and it will tell you what to do."
    The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and a bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits on the chair at the water's edge and opens the bible. The wind rifles the pages of the bible and then stops at a particular page. He looks down at the bible and sees what he has to do.
    Three more...

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