Weed Jokes / Recent Jokes

...2 medical marijuana clubs in Oakland, CA were broken into and robbed of their inventory. Police have no suspects. Operators of the clubs believe the robberies are connected and are launching a joint investigation.

Garret Lisi, a surfer and snowboarder who divides his time between Hawaii and Lake Tahoe, NV, has purportedly done what even eluded Einstein, postulated an overarching explanation of all particles and forces of the cosmos. Lee Smolin, a Canadian physicist has called it the most compelling unification models he’s seen in years.

This may be the first time a surfer proposed a "theory of everything" that didn't include a bong and flip-flops, Dr. Smolin said.

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

A Lakewood couple found a small bag of marijuana in a bag of food picked up at a local Del Taco Restaurant. Thirty minutes later the couple returned an ordered 16 tacos, 12 burritos and 8 large sodas.

Good news for aging hippies: Scientists have found that smoking grass may stave off Alzheimer's disease. New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function.
Those afflicted with Alzheimer's are said to suffer from memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills.
Hmm... doesn't that sound an awful lot like the typical pot-smoker?

One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, "Whatcha there reading Mister?"
The educated man replies, "It's a book about logic".
Confused, the redneck replies "Logic? What's logic?"
The educated man explains to the man, "Logic is the ability to come to a conclusion knowing only one fact. For example, do you own a weed whacker?"
The Redneck shouts, "Hell yeah I own a weed whacker!"
So the educated man continues, "Well, if you have a weed whacker, and I know you have a weed whacker, I know you have a lawn. If I know you have a lawn I know you have a house. If you have a house, demographically speaking I can deduce that you are a white male, 35-50 yrs old, and a heterosexual. Therefore, by knowing that you have a weed whacker I know that you are straight. Am I correct?"
The redneck responds flabbergasted "Hell yeah more...

There are three moms, a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"