Drug Addict Jokes
In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"
Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
2 TBS. Butter
5 grams Heroin
Salt and Pepper to taste
Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!
Tainted heroin flooding the streets of Detroit has killed 48 users in 12 days. The mayor, who pledged to clean up the city, told a crowd of cheering supporters, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
A study in Britain shows stressed-out women who work long hours eat more high-fat snacks, exercise less, and smoke more than their male colleagues. The study showed men's reaction to women under such stress was to mercilessly berate them for eating more, not exercising enough and smoking too much.
The report found that poor eating habits were linked to one or more stressful events such as making a presentation, meeting with the boss and in particular, being the subject of a study about stress.
For men, working longer hours has no negative impact on exercise, caffeine intake or smoking, but did increase their state of denial about their receding hairlines, love handles and impotence.