Drug Addict Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bazooka Blow

    Hot 6 years ago

    In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
    After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
    Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"

    Bazooka Joe
    Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
    1933-2006

    1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

    2. Ahh, it's cute.

    3. Who circumcised you?

    4. Why don't we just cuddle?

    5. You know they have surgery to fix that.

    6. It's more fun to look at.

    7. Make it dance.

    8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

    9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

    10. It looks like a night crawler.

    11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

    12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.

    13. It's ok, we'll work around it.

    14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

    15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

    16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

    17. Oh no, a flash headache.

    18. (giggle and point)

    19. Can I be honest with you?

    20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

    21. Let me go get my tweezers.

    New Turkey Recipe

    Hot 5 years ago

    7lb. Turkey
    2 TBS. Butter
    5 grams Heroin
    Salt and Pepper to taste
    Balloon

    Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!

    Ozark Sunset

    Hot 3 years ago

    I visited my brother way out in the Ozarks. I was sitting on his porch at the end of the day looking out west and the sky was red and gold and purple and it was SO amazingly beautiful.

    You don't see a sky like that in the big city.

    The neighbor's meth lab exploded.

    Tainted heroin flooding the streets of Detroit has killed 48 users in 12 days. The mayor, who pledged to clean up the city, told a crowd of cheering supporters, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

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