Wailing Jokes / Recent Jokes
In Jerusalem, an English female journalist heard about an old rabbi who visited the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is!
She watches the bearded old man at prayer-and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview.
"I'm Jane Collins from the BBC, sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?" For about 50 years, he informs her.
"50 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Jews and the Arabs. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"And how do you feel, sir, after doing this for 50 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a brick wall."
Everyone wonders why Muslim terrorists are so
quick to commit suicide. Let's see now:
No beer, no bars, no radio, no television, no
Playboy or Penthouse, no rugby, no football, no
basketball, no baseball, no golf, no dancing, no
music.
No bikinis on the beach, no nude beaches, no mini
skirts and braless beauties.
No BBQ pork, no ham, no bacon, no hot-dogs, no
burgers, no lobster, no shellfish or even frozen
seafood sticks.
Rags for clothes and dish towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next door because
he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
You can't shave. Your wife can't shave. You can't
even shave your wife.
Sand is everywhere. Sand gets into everything.
You wipe your backside with your left hand
without toilet paper and if they catch you stealing
they chop off your good hand and you must eat with
your more...
Woman golfer lines up on the first tee. Slices it badly and she hears a guy wailing pitifully off by the side of the tee and when she looks at him in horror he's doubled over with his hands tightly clenched together over his crotch.
She dashes over, apologizing profusely. "I'm so sorry," she says, "it's OK, I'm a nurse. I know what to do."
She gently undoes the mans fly (who converts his wailing to a whimper) and begins to stroke his todger.
"There, there." she says, "Does that feel better?"
The guy's eyes are still watering but he says, "Sure, but shit... my thumb's still killing me!"
In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old rabbi who visited the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is! She watches the bearded old man at prayer and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN, sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?" For about 50 years, he informs her. 50 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Jews and the Arabs. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "And how do you feel, sir, after doing this for 50 years?" "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall.
A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that, and what are you praying for?"The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a cup of tea, and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."
The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks.
The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."