Vietnam Jokes / Recent Jokes
"This is where the longest war the U.S. has ever fought and lost took place," Bush said of Vietnam, "Which is why we have to stay in IRAQ."
Bush immediately turned to one of his handlers and said "Wait, this doesn't even make sense to me."
Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieun.
As he was getting a lot of unfavorable treatment from his own country's news agencies, he invited Tara Singh, a journalist from Malaysia, to brief him about the setup of Bernama.
After Tara Singh had briefed the president about Bernama, the president was impressed. He declared that it was time for him to set up his own Bernama, to counter all the criticism he has been receiving lately.
Tara Singh politely said, "But Mr. President, the name' Bernama' is already used by Malaysia... maybe if you chose another name."
"Of course, you're right! I shall name it after myself then. It will be known as Thieunama! ! ", said the president.
Tara Singh nearly choked on that! " Ahh, Mr President, that may not be the best name. To the Cantonese speaking people, that name is a four-letter word concerning mothers," said more...
The Washington Post
february 4, 1988
I Believe
This is more commentary than humor, but what the heck...
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I believe the president. I have always believed him. I believed him when he said he had never been drafted in the Vietnam War and I believed him when he said he had forgotten to mention that he had been drafted in the Vietnam War. I believed him when he said he hadn't had sex with Gennifer Flowers and I believe him now, when he reportedly says he did.
I believe the president did not rent out the Lincoln Bedroom, did not sell access to himself and the vice president to hundreds of well-heeled special pleaders and did not supervise the largest, most systematic money-laundering operation in campaign finance history, collecting more than $ 3 million in illegal and improper donations. I believe that Charlie Trie and James Riady were motivated by nothing but patriotism for their adopted more...
Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DONT KNOW! YOU WERENT THERE, MAN!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW!!!!!
After spending 20 years in the Marines, I retired and went to work for the department of juvenile corrections, one day while checking students rooms, Ifound a Vietnam youngster, crying I asked him why he was crying, he replied "he missed his father"I thought about it for awhile, after spending 25 months in Vietnam, I set down with him and cryed, because I missed his father to.
Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit."I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink""There's another trench over there" says the other."I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout andand i'll cover you so you can get back""OK" so the GI runs across while the other fires off themachine gun. He's waiting 10 minutes...... 15....... 20.... he shouts out "Are you Ok?"..... nothing. Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting."Cover me i`m coming back"When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have you been? you've been gone for over an hour""Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her tits, fondled her arse, turned her round and fucked her frombehind!""It was great!""You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?" "nah" said the other, more...
You look older than you really are. You're racist. Your parents are scared of anyone that is black. Your parents dog on Mexicans and Blacks You know you're superior to other Asians. Your parents think you're 12 when you're really 18. When you go out to buy clothes you have to buy them 3 sizes too big for you to grow in and for any younger brother or sister to have for Christmas a few years down the line. At least one of your parents are in a self owned business like Laundromat, Nails, or Apartments. If they own apartments they rent only to Asian families... never blacks. Guys: you sit on your butt all day. Girls: you do everything while your man sits on his butt. Guys: you have a nice variety of white and black shirts, blue and black jeans and slacks. You cuss out anyone in Vietnamese that gets you pissed off. Your parents think you're the worst kid. Your parents compare you to 4. 5 nerds and call you stupid. You watch Vietnamese translated movies that are 30 tapes long. You listen to more...