Vegas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Best hooker in Las Vegas

    Hot 6 months ago

    A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?"
    Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
    Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job? No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
    The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
    "Yes."
    "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
    "Yes."
    "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
    Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try."
    They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he more...

    The Lucky Frog
    Abe lives in Tel Aviv. One day, he takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Abe thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron". Abe looks around and doesn`t see anyone.
    "Ribbit. 9 Iron." And then Abe realises that the frog is doing the talking.
    He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the hole. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that`s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." Abe decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
    "What do you think, frog?" Abe asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." Abe takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. Abe is befuddled and doesn`t know what to say. .
    By the end of the day, Abe has golfed the best game of more...

    Vegas!

    Hot 6 months ago

    A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?"
    She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!"
    Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
    When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"

    A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos.
    When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won.
    After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.
    The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.
    The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T.V.
    The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city.
    He realized he was all alone and needed someone to share his good fortune.
    He called the front desk and told the clerk to send up one of the best, high-priced call girls in the city.
    Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the more...

    A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you
    going?" he asked.
    "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men
    that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!"
    The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.
    "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
    "Going to Las Vegas
    with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"

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