Urinal Jokes / Hot Jokes
A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?" asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"
"Do you have golden glasses?"
"Do you have golden beer?"
"Do you have a golden urinal?"
On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."
1) Excitable - Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2) Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3) Cross-eyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4) Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5) Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6) Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.
7) Worried - Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8) Frivolous - Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.
9) Absent-Minded - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10) Childish - Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11) Sneaky - Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12) Patient - Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.
13) Desperate - Waits in long line, teeth floating, more...
A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army.
His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis...He agrees, and does so.
When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y.
The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica.
One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?"
And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says...
"Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"
Tyrone, a black kid in kindergarten came home from school one afternoon and asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that black boys have bigger penises than white boys?"
"Did some little cracka-ass say that to you or somethin?" asked the dad.
Tyrone acknowledged this was correct.
"Well," his dad said, "tomorrow when you go to school and you're up takin' a leak at the urinal, get a good lookin' at yo classmates peckers and see if it's true."
So, the next morning, Tyrone went to school, went into the bathroom with a couple of his white classmates and went to take a piss in the urinal. Trying not to get caught, he inconspiculously glanced at their penises. Tyrone grinned.
Later that day, Tyrone came home and told his dad the news. "Daddy," he said, "It's true! All them crackas have smaller dicks that me!"
"Well, son, time to face the truth... it's cuz yo ass is more...