Ujaagar Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ujaagar's eldest daughter had been taken to the delivery room in a hospital and he was anxiously waiting outside, when he heard the crying of a newborn babe. A few minutes later a nurse came out of the delivery room.
Ujaagar rushed up to her and enquired,' Sister, am I a grandfather or a grandmother?'

Ujaagar now an important judge, was driving along a busy road in Chandigarh when he committed a traffic violation and was stopped by a young constable.
He gave his name to the constable, who thought for a moment and then asked if the driver was the well-known judge.
Ujaagar replied in the affirmative The constable then asked if he was the same lawyer who had become a public prosecutor and was now, the civil judge.
Ujaagar's hopes were on the rise as he responded that it was indeed correct.
'Well,' said the constable,' you won't be able to plead ignorance of the law, will you?'

Signing the register at a wedding, the pot-bellied farmer Ujaagar was having difficulty in making his ball-point pen work.
'Zaraa wazan paao (Put your weight on it),' said the granthi.
Dutifully, the farmer wrote: Ujaagar - ik man chaalis ser. (My weight is approximately 80 kg.)

A few years ago, Ujaagar got the opportunity to explore Wild West Street in Hollywood. Cruising down in a Limousine, he drove the wrong way up a one-way street. A cop hauled him up and asked,' Didn't you see the arrows?'
Ujaagar replied:' I didn't even see the Red Indians!'

Ujaagar was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled name, age, address, etc. Then he came to the column sex. He was not sure as to what was to be filled there. After much thought he wrote' Thrice a week'.
On seeing this in the application form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted to be filled was either male or female.
Again Ujaagar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer - preferably females.

Ujaagar was employed by an Englishman in Tolworth, London. The white man said that he would pay Ujaagar five pounds to go round to the front of the house and paint the porch.
After a couple of hours, Ujaagar came back with a tin of leftover white paint and declared that he had finished the job.
'That was very quick,' exclaimed the Angrez Sahib.
'Aa ta maara jya kaam si.' (Well, it was not a big job.) lO Porsche nahin, Mercedes Si (It was Mercedes, not a Porsche.)

Ujaagar was appearing for his final university examination. He took his seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took his shoes off and threw them out of the window.

He then removed his turban and threw it away as well. His shirt, trousers, socks, and watch followed suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approached him and asked what was going on.

'Oye, I am following the instructionsyaar,' replied Ujaagar,' it says here, "Answer the questions in brief'.'