Air travel: Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil.
A dumb list for dumb laws:
1. Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them.
2. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
3. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
1. Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
2. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.
3. Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism.
THIS is attributed to Rajaji: Before Independence, he was arguing with an Englishman about India's freedom. The Englishman retorted,' Look here! We have spent millions of pounds here - building cities, laying roads, railways and canals. We have built dams and barrages, universities, hospitals; opened mines; built ports and harbours, and so on. Do you seriously ask us to pack up bag and baggage and leave India?'
'No said Rajaji,' please leave the bag and baggage behind.'
All captains, flight attendants, baggage handlers and ticket agents look and act the same. Each time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Everyone pushes the plane until it glides. They then jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on.
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing continually about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
The terminal is very pretty and colorful, with friendly flight attendants, easy baggage check and boarding, and smooth take-off. Approximately ten minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
A herding creature of widely varying intellect, usually found in pairs or small groups. Often will become vicious and violent in simple and easily rectified situations. When frightened or confused these creatures collect into a group called a "line." This "line" has no set pattern and is usually formed in inconvenient places. Passengers are of four known species: Paxus iratus, Paxus latus, Paxus inebriatus, & Paxus ignoramus.
Passenger who arrives at the gate five minutes before departure.
A passenger who arrives at the gate as the jetway is coming off the flight.
Any passenger booked through a travel agency.
Usually can be identified by the fact that these passengers are in first class and are dressed in pilot or flight attendant uniforms. Non-revenue position are permitted to fly first class free of charge to prevent revenue passengers from being able to pay more...