Transport Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

    If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
    How do they get a deer to cross
    at that yellow road sign?
    Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
    Why is abbreviation such a long word?
    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because
    they taste funny?
    Experience is what you get when you didn't
    get what you wanted."
    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
    you can't drink and drive?
    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical
    situations?
    If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,
    why are there locks on the doors?
    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make
    TEFLON stick to the pan?
    If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light,
    what happens when you turn on the headlights?
    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
    Why is it that when you transport something by car,
    it's called a more...

    If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
    If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
    What does geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
    Why is it that if you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
    If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
    If a 7-11is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are their locks on the doors?
    Why are their Interstates in Hawaii?
    Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when it's against the law to drink and drive?
    Why are they called apartments, when they are all stuck together?

    This is a long one so I apologise now!
    3 men die and go to heaven. At the gates, they meet St Peter who tells them
    'Before you come in here, you have to answer one question. According to how you answer the question you will get a mode of transport. The mode of transport you have determines your status in heaven, do you understand?'
    'yes' answer the men
    'ok' says Peter and he turns to the first man. 'Tell me truthfully, how many times have you had an affair???'
    'Well' said the first man 'I must admit I've had an affair 5 times'
    'You get a bicycle then' said Peter and off the man goes into heaven
    The second man answers, 'I've had an affair 2 times' and so he gets a mini and goes off into heaven
    Finally the last man answers 'I can honestly say I have never had an affair in my life, I love my wife' and so he gets a brand new bmw and goes off into heaven.
    A time later, the first man sees the last man sat next to his brand new bmw crying.
    'What could more...

    Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat.Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last week andwe all got rat-arsed."Being quick on the uptake the second one says, " My dad says he will marrymy mum next year."Despite this the Nun stays right where she is.In desperation the third one says, " My old man will never ever marry mymum."The Nun looks up from her food and says, " Would one of you bastards please pass the salt."

  • Recent Activity