Angels Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Crazy Truck Driver

    Hot 2 years ago

    A truck driver stopped for a meal at and was just served when a huge caravan of Hells Angels roared in. As the gang entered the restraunt, everyone but the truck driver quickly paid thier bills and left. The truck driver quietly sat there eating his steak.
    The leader of the Hells Angels marched in and sat by the trucker at the bar, reached over and took his plate and began to eat the steak. Still unruffled, the trucker sat there quietly and drank his coffee. This infuriated the gang leader who grabbed the coffee and poured it on the trucker's head. Calmly the trucker wiped his head and walked to the cashier. Amid jears and insults from the gang the trucker paid his bill and left.
    When the waitress came to take their order, the gang leader remarked, "Boy, that guy wasn't much of a man was he. I stole his steak, called his mother a bitch, and even poured coffee on his head. And the whimp, he just walked away."
    The waitress replied, "Yea, I guess your right. more...

    Not Much of a Man?

    Hot 2 years ago

    A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch. Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little guy.
    They sat at his table. One of them took his coffee away from him and drank it down. The next one took his sandwich away and ate it down. The third Hells Angel took the little guy's pie and ate it down.
    Without saying a word, the little guy got up, went to the cash register, paid his bill, and left.
    One of the Hells Angels looked at the waitress, and said, "Did you see that? We took away his coffee, his sandwich, and his pie! And he didn't say a word! He sure ain't much of a man!"
    The waitress turned to them and said, "He ain't much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over three motorcycles in the parking lot!"

    I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
    Gregory, 5
    Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos any more. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
    Olive, 9
    It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
    Matthew, 9
    Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
    Mitchell, 7
    My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
    Henry, 8
    Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!
    Jack, 6
    Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
    Daniel, 9

    I don't know if you saw Oprah a few days ago, but the winners of the "Young People Write an Essay About the Holocaust Contest" were announced. Fifty young people from around the country were selected to appear on Oprah's show and read portions of their essays, then watch Oprah cry with a real-life Holocaust survivor. Why do I think the contest was rigged? It's because my essay was not chosen, even though I am a young person and, like Oprah, I totally believe in angels.

    Luckily, I have a forum for my essay (Which my angels helped me write, by the way.) on Daily Comedy. Here it is. I think that after reading it you will agree that my holocaust essay's not being chosen is the biggest travesty in history since the holocaust.
    Oprah is Better Than Hitler
    An Essay by Kurt Metzger and Angels

    Hi, my name is Kurt and I hate the holocaust. It was totally not cool. If I ever had the chance to meet Hitler, I would tell him that he is a jerk and his mustache did more...

    To get us all in the Christmas spirit. .. Can you name these Christmas Songs? Answers found below.
    -------- Questions --------- Approach Everyone Who Is Steadfast
    Ecstacy Toward The Orb
    Hush, The Foretelling Spirits Harmonize
    Hey, Miniscule Urban Area Southwest Of Jerusalem
    Quiescent Nocturnal Period
    The Autocratic Troika Originating Near the Accent of Apollo
    The Primary Carol
    Embellish The Corridors
    I Apprehended My Maternal Parent Osculating with a Corpulent, Unshaven Male in Crimson Disguise
    I'm Fantasizing Concerning a Blanched Yuletide
    My Singular Desire For The Impending Yuletide Season Is Receipt Of A Pair Of Central Incisors.
    During the Time Ovine Caretakers Supervised Their Charges Past Twilight
    Celestial Messengers From Splendid Empires.
    The Thing Manifest Itself at the Onset of a Transparent Day
    The Tatterdemalion Ebony Atmosphere
    The Coniferous Nativity
    What Offspring Abides more...

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