Traditions Jokes / Recent Jokes

Merry Christmas from Your Cautious Attorney

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, and gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack thereof, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

SEASONS GREETINGS (after the lawyers were done)
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all. . .
.. . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2001, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America
is necessarily greater than any other country or is the more...

To be' politically correct'. ...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at al...

A N D

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars
of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have
helped make America great, (not to imply that America is
necessarily greater than any other country or is the only more...

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military
9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who’s naughty, who’s nice and who can’t run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
5. You open a gift and surprise! It’s a khaki-colored t-shirt
4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen
3. There’s always plenty of parking at the mall when you’re driving a tank
2. Watching “Frosty” and crying my eyes out
1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

To be' politically correct'. ...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at al...

A N D

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere,) and more...

Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah,
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza
Sorry for the delay... our Legal Department just
approved the following Holiday Greeting:
To All HumorMatters Readers:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all. . . and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures more...