Traditions Jokes / Recent Jokes

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best
wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low
stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter
solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions
of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for
the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally
accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the
Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars
of choice of other cultures).
The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).
Now more...

POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemispheresummer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of thereligious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, andwithout regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform andoperating system of the wishee. By accepting more...

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 05305. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

Merry Christmas in Legal Terms
Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures).
The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask

8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower

7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant

6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530

5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt

4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen

3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank

2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out

1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the Wishee.

By accepting more...