Tella Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, I'ma go to Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand . I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later, I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress, she bring me a spoon and knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock onna the table. She say you better not fock onna the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there's no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't more...

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna twopissa toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you nounderstand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no pisson plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla mesomma ma b*tch. Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy anatell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH! Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress shebring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - Shetell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, Iwanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonnama b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch. So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. Icalla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go totoilet. So, I say, you no understand, I more...

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. she tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. he tell me go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man more...

I am an Italiano visitin America. One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say no, you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her no, you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to ma toilet. I say no, you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: more...

(Must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud.)
One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eat breakfast. I
tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella
her I want to piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna
to piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma
bitch.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a
knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I
tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock
on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me
sonna ma bitch.
So I go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. I calla the
manager and tella him I wanna sheit. He tella me to go to the toilet. I say you
no understand. I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not more...

The Italian
One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch.
Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!
Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch.
So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he more...

Never Gonna Stay In Your Hotella No More
The Manager
Y. M. C. A. Hotel
LONDON
Roma 28 sept. 1981
Dear signore Direttore, Noew I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at jour hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-younga christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with no shit in my
bed? So I calla down receptione and tella: "I wanta shit" They tella me: "Go to toilet" I say:"No, no I
wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You'd better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is
sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only
one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say:
"No, no I wanta piss on my plate". She then say to me: more...