Taxpayer Jokes

A distraught taxpayer handed in his income tax return with his check to the Internal Revenue agent.

"Boy," complained the man, "the boys in Washington are a heartless bunch. They sure cleaned out my bank account!"

"Cheer up", consoled the revenue man. "Remember what Benjamin Franklin said:' Nothing is certain but death and taxes."

"Yeah," said the taxpayer. "I only wish they came in that order."

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.""Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."

"How have you managed to buy such a luxurious villa while your income is so low?" asked the IRS auditor.
"Well," the taxpayer answered, "while fishing last summer I have caught a large golden fish. When I took it off the hook, the fish opened his mouth and said,' I am a magical fish. Throw me back to the sea and I'll give you the most luxurious villa you have ever seen'. I threw the fish back to the sea, and got the villa."
"How can you prove such an unbelievable story?"
"Well, you can see the villa, can't you?"

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."

"Thank God," returned the taxpayer. "I thought you were going to want cash."

Taxpayer: I always pay my income taxes all at once.

Tax collector: But you are allowed to pay them in quarterly installments.

Taxpayer: I know it, but my heart can't stand it four times a year.