Tanned Jokes

A new intern at heart&cross hospital was looking for an experienced doctor to sign off on him sending a patient to surgery.He saw a nicely tanned man giving orders to someone else so he walked up to him. "Could you sign this for me"? he asked.
The man signed the sheet and the intern thanked him and walked away.the next day the intern walked into the hospital and was informed by the security that he had been fired.the intern asked why.the security guard told him that he had sent a patient to surgery without having a doctor sign off on it.yes I did I had him sign it.he pointed to the man who he had sign the sheet who was now moping the floors. "Him"? asked the security guard. "That's Jorge the nicely tanned head-janitor".

A young man stood in front of the mirror admiring his well-built and tanned body, when he realised that his PENIS was the only part of his body not tanned, hence determined to get his PENIS tanned, he ran to the beach again.
Once on the beach, he buried himself except his PENIS, which he left poking out of the sand.
Strolling down the beach were two old ladies. They came across the PENIS poking out of the sand. One old lady using her cane, knocked it from side to side saying, "There is no justice in the world today."
"What do you mean" asked the other.
"Look when I was 20, I was curious about it,
When I was 30 I enjoyed it,
When I was 40 I asked for it,
When I was 50 I had to pay for it,
When I was 60 I prayed for it,
When I was 70 I forgot about it,
Now that I am 80, the bloody things are growing wild
and I am too old to SQUAT"

One Crow: Dont Stand In The Sun.
Second Crow: Why?
First Crow: You Will Get Tanned.

Are You A Steamer?
Steamer - A person, normally female and also normally of 45+ years, who refusing to accept her age makes desperate attempts to appear 20+ years younger.
Take this questionnaire to find out if you are a steamer:
Your wardrobe consists mainly of:
tailored suits and silk blouses - you spend most of your time at the office
sweats, jeans and t-shirts - designed for your active lifestyle
spandex pants in neon colors, halter tops and mini-skirts which you share with your 14 year-old daughter.
Your hair is:
exquisitely highlighted by one of the finer salons in your city
your natural color
the palest white blonde you can get from a bottle.
Your favourite place to buy clothing:
Saks, Holt-Renforth - only the finest quality will do
K-Mart, Walmart - you'd rather spend your hard-earned money on more important things
Contempo Casual, Suzies or wherever it is your teenaged daughter and her friends shop.
Your complexion more...