Suzy Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, a teacher was in her class teaching her lesson plan.
"
Now were going to go around the class, and say what one of our parents does, spell it, and say how they could help the class."
The teacher explained.
"
Yes Suzy, go ahead."
"
My dad is a baker. B-A-K-E-R. He could help us out by making us cookies!."
"
Very good Suzy."
"
Ok, go ahead John."
"
My daddy is a doctor, D-O-C-T-O-R. If we get hurt, he can help us."
"
Very good John."
"
Go Ahead Tyrome."
"
MMMM... K. My Daddy is an electisian. E-L-C NO, NO WAIT. E-L-E-K NO I MEAN... E-L-L, I mean ummmmm."
"
That's ok, we'll come back to you Tyrome."
"
Go ahead Tony."
"
My dads a bookie. B-O-O-K-I... "
"
WOH WOH WOH, TONY, how could that help the class?
"
He'll give you ten to one odds more...

John came home from work one afternoon, and being horny as hell took his
beautiful girlfriend, Suzy, upstairs to the bedroom. He proceeded to
undress her, but before he took his pants off, he removed a packet of
condoms from his pocket. "What are those?" Suzy asked."Olympic condoms" replied John."What makes them Olympic?"Suzy asked. "There are three colors, gold, silver and bronze," said John."Which color are you planning to wear tonight?" asked Suzy."Gold of course!" replied John."Well" said Suzy "Why don't you wear silver and come second for a change!"

A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet.
He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become amen, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room.
She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny, sitting in the back of the room.
He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!"

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down more...

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand."My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He more...

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteerto tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto theroad." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of more...

One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The
following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story, little Suzy raises her hand.
"
My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck
and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a
big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, "
Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "
Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8
of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies "
Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Last is little Johnny. "
My uncle more...