Stickers Jokes / Recent Jokes

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas gift:
PHOTO PANTIES:
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties for only $19.95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this can be put to.
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II:
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and includes questions about subjects such as the difference between Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.
FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS:
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in extremely arid regions.
WAX BULLETS:
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.
LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS:
Decorate your house in Southwestern style with our live tumbleweeds. Only $44.00.
MARS LANDERS:
NASA is offering its surplus Mars Landers for more...

Top 17 Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called
...they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory
...some just don't have any film.
Save your breath
...You'll need it to inflate your date.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life
...but it broke off.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Guys..just because you have one doesn't mean you have to be one.
Some people just don't know how to drive...
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.
If you can read this...
I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Try not to let your mind more...

Cool Bumper Stickers

-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

-Horn broken, watch for finger.

-My kid had sex with your honor student.

-If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.

-I. R. S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

-Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

-I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading.

-Hang up and drive.

-Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

-I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.

-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless more...

Recently I was behind a car with three bumper stickers: Don't be fooled by genetically engineered food-demand labels and safety testing for food; Eat for the health of it; and Support organic farmers."
The car was in front of me at a McDonalds drive-through.

Cool Bumper Stickers
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
-Horn broken, watch for finger.
-My kid had sex with your honor student.
-If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
-I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
-Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
-I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading.
-Hang up and drive.
-Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by more...

Bumper stickers seen this weekend. .... You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. I have the body of a god........ Buddha. This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me. Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name. Illiterate? Write for help. Honk if anything falls off. He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit. This isn't my idea of a good time. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now. Uniquely maladjusted, but fun. This bumper sticker exploits illiterates. I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere. Oh, evolve! Gone crazy be back shortly. If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.

Bumper Stickers Seen on Cars Around Washington D.C.:

If His Private Life Doesn't Matter,
Let Him Date Your Daughter

Does Character Matter Yet?

My President Fooled Around
With Your Honor Student

Kids No Longer Play Doctor,
They Play President

Honk If You Had Sex
with the President

Clinton: We Forgive You...
Now Resign!

Bill Clinton:
Commander in Heat

The Clinton Creed:
Take Credit Not Responsibility

Save the President:
Legalize Perjury

Three Terms for Clinton:
The Third in Jail

Jail to the Chief