Standard Jokes / Recent Jokes

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to the first question. But this time.....

Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time!

Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time.

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony.

Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the first question after winning.

But this time..... Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!

Inzamam: Bismillah-e- Rehman-e- Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in.

Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.

Tony fainted!

Not realizing that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard, a blonde inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a flight to Chicago.
"The next flight to Chicago departs at 1:00 PM," the ticket agent said, "and arrives at 1:01 PM."
"Would you mind repeating that, please?" asked the blonde.
The agent repeated the information and then asked, "Would you care to make a reservation, sir?"
"No, thank you," replied the blonde, "but I do think I'll stick around and watch that thing take off."

As you know there is art of writing - and a matching art in reading. When this art is applied into travel brochures you will get this. Without wishing to suggest that the following translations always apply, nonetheless you might find the following terms to be of very amusing............... Brochure Term Translation
Pre-registered rooms Already occupied
Deluxe Standard
Standard Substandard
Light and airy No air conditioning
Majestic setting A long way from town
Picturesque Theme park nearby
Tropical Rainy
Options galore Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find or get to
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've flown before
No extra fees No extras
Nominal charge Outrageous charge
Superior Two free shower caps
All the amenities One free shower cap
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes Gale-force winds
Open bar Free ice cubes

Old world charm - Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical - Rainy.
Majestic setting - A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore - Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway - Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms - Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own - At your own expense.
Minutes From ??? - By Plane
Romantic - No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts - They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees - No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise - Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee - Outrageous charge.
Standard - Sub-standard.
Deluxe - Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations- One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
All the amenities - Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Just Like Home - No Maid service.
Plush - Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes - In hurricane alley.
Light and airy - No air more...