Stadium Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field! About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "No." Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!"The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got more...

The behavior of a group of long term patients at a psychiatric hospital had been so admirable, the director decided to take them on a field trip to an opening day baseball game. He worked with the group for several weeks beforehand, training them to behave appropriately.
He had accomplished his goal by opening day and the group obeyed every command he would give.
When the National Anthem began, he said "Up Nuts" and they all stood. When the Anthem finished, he said "Down Nuts" and they all sat down in their seats. Noticing how well they were behaving, he decided he would go and get a hot dog and drink. He looked and them and said, "Stay Nuts" and off he went.
When he returned, he was horrified to see a riot had broken out in the stadium section where his patients were. He asked one of the ushers what had happened.
"Everything was going great," the usher explained, "until the vendor came around shouting "Peanuts!"

A guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man says "No."

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!"

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my more...

Why was it so cold at the football stadium?
Because it was full of fans!!!

A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success. Then he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out'Hey, Balbir!"
Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.
He was very upset more...

A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who's hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:
"What's two times two?"
"Five", answers the blonde and smiles.
The guy shakes his head, but the whole stadium shouts, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then the guy asks her, "What's three times three?"
"Eight", answers the blonde proudly.
The guy is about to let her return to her seat, but the whole stadium starts to shout again, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the guy asks her one more question. "What's four times four?"
"Sixteen", answers the blonde shyly.
Before the guy expresses his reaction, the whole stadium starts to shout, "Give more...

Smith was watching a rugby test against the New Zealand All Blacks at the Sydney Football Stadium. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat - next to Smith.
"Who does that seat belong to?" asked his neighbour.
"It's for my wife."
"But why isn't she here?"
"She died."
"So why didn't you give the ticket to one of your friends?"
"They've all gone to the funeral."